Thrill me
by Jaiden Lockheart
Summary: A series of oneshots that have been requested by all of my wonderful readers. All sasukecentric. Various Pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**Note: Alright, everyone, I've decided to take on a new project. However, for this one, I need YOUR help. Yes, you, the one who's sitting there reading this awful Story.**

**Anyway…**

**Recently, I've been getting requests -glares at sister- for different stories and whatnot, and I thought, well, why not ask everyone what they want to see. So, that's where you come in. Leave me messages or reviews or anything else and tell me something that you'd like me to write. I want to keep the stories Sasuke-centric though, please. I'll do other pairings on the side, but they probably won't be the main focus.**

**Request:**

**Pairings, scenes, songs, titles, pretty much anything!**

**A few things to take into consideration:**

**1.) I'm a slash writer. I will do het pairings, but I specialize in shonen-ai. So, I'm not guaranteeing that I'll write het exactly as most people would. I don't know if that makes sense or not.**

**2.) I'm an Uke! Sasuke fan. If you want Sasuke to be Seme, you have to specifically tell me that. Otherwise, I don't see it at all.**

**3.) If you have a specific senario, you have to tell me. And I may mix and match things I find I want to do, so if it's not exactly as you want it, I'm sorry.**

**4.) There may be a lot of requests (I'm not sure how well this is going to go) So if I don't get to your idea first, please hang tight, I'll try to get to you eventually.**

**5.) I love almost every pairing, so don't be afraid to request the really odd ones. The only restriction I'm putting on this is that I will NOT do characters that only appear in filler episodes (136-time skip), I don't care if they showed up in multiple filler episodes.**

**6.) I will not do OC's.**

**7.) I will try to keep everyone in character, but some I know better than others and some just have to be OOC for the story to work.**

**8.) I will repeat pairings, but not too many times. If I find an idea that really strikes an interest, I'll use a pairing over again.**

**9.) The chapters will go in alphabetical order (every chapter starting with the next letter)**

**Anyway, that's my amazingly long authors note. I think I got everything. The next chapter will start the stories!**


	2. Amaze

**Note: Ahh!! Chapter number 1! I hope you all enjoy.**

**Pairing: Kakasasu, Itasasu**

**Dedication: To my sister… the wonderful brat who made me start this thing.**

**Summary: Some things never change. Some things never stay the same.

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**

**Amaze**

_//It's late at night the worlds asleep/And I'm trying not to think/I take some pills cause my mind bleeds/I'm thinking what is wrong with me/Because the only thing I know about honesty/Is every lie I told that you believed/I'm afraid, to be alone/I'm afraid, that one day you'll find out/And you'll be amazed/At the secrets I keep/You'll be amazed/At my mouth full of lies/I'm too afraid to come clean/My life's still free in the/house of cards/Now I can't look you in your eyes/Because the guilt is killing me/I try disconnect my heart again/Just so I can breathe/I wanna be myself again/But I just can't cause/I'm afraid, to be alone/I'm afraid, that one day you'll find out/And you'll be amazed/At the secrets I keep/You'll be amazed/At my mouth full of lies/I'm too afraid to come clean/My life's still free in the house of cards/It's such a shame what I've become/After years of breaking down/My whole life has come undone/Cause I'm trying to fake it all/And I know that you love someone/But that someone isn't me/Isn't me, no/And you'll be amazed/At the secrets I keep/You'll be amazed/At my mouth full of lies/I'm too afraid to come clean/My life's still free in the house of cards/You'll be amazed// _

--Madina Lake, "House of Cards"

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Amaze: to overwhelm with surprise or sudden wonder; astonish greatly

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I stand in the hallway of an apartment that is far too familiar for me to feel comfortably in place. The walls, painted that light green that caresses everything in this village, seem to close in on me too quickly and I have to close my eyes for a moment to collect my thoughts. Thoughts of a life I don't want, thoughts of a life I would rather have. And I think I fail in breathing for those few moments.

It strange even to me to be back here. For I had been gone for so very long a time and I figured by now everyone--_someone_--would have forgotten about me. I can feel the tension, even in this hallway, coming from the man on the other side of the door I am standing in front of.

He knows I'm here, having memorized my chakra signature years ago, I'm sure. I have half a mind to turn around, to run from this place. This place that was, at one time, the only place I felt really comfortable, really felt I belonged. What happened to those times?

I'm still covered in blood. At least, I think that's what's coating my hand that is still loosely holding my katana. I wonder who's blood it is…

…everything runs together now…everything merges in a mind that is too muddled, too…

"Sasuke?"

I look up at the man standing in front me now. He has opened the door and is leaning against the frame. I notice the way the corner digs into his shoulder and wonder if it hurts.

He doesn't look surprised--a blank expression covering his face--but I know that deep down he wasn't expecting this. He didn't anticipate a blood-soaked, exhausted teenager to come knocking on his door at three o'clock this morning. Because this doesn't normally happen, not recently anyway.

But I haven't been here recently.

"Hey." Is all I can say, all I have the need to say. I breathe heavily, the exertion getting the better of me now that I'm not focusing on keeping it all together. Because now I don't have to keep it all together.

I'm only vaguely aware of strong arms catching me as I fall.

--

--

I'm curled on a bed that smells a little of pine and a little of rubbing alcohol. It's a familiar scent, one that I'd grown used to a long time ago, and I can feel the tug of exhaustion coaxing me back into unconsciousness again. But I've slept for too long.

"It's been three days. I haven't told anyone you're back yet." Kakashi's voice flits over from the chair he's sitting in on the other side of the room. I turn eyes that I'm sure are puffy from sleep in his direction, not moving my body at all. The lethargy that has settled in my limbs is almost painful and I'm afraid of what it's going to feel like when I finally do have to move.

"You shouldn't be doing this." I say, knowing the consequences of hoarding an S-ranked missing nin can be nothing but disastrous for a shinobi of his level. I've seen the bingo book. I know what I'm worth.

"And you shouldn't have come back." He gets out of his chair and walks to the bed. The only movement I make is to curl even further in on myself, my arms wrapping around me knees, hugging them to my chest.

My eyes don't follow him as he sits beside me, they keep staring at the wall on the other side of the room. I blink slowly, my lids sticking together slightly and I wince a little at a pain in my shoulder.

"Will you turn me in?" I ask, and for the first time since I've been here, I don't know what his answer will be.

"Do you want me to?"

I almost scoff at his words. Leave it up to Kakashi to give me a decision like this.

My whole body aches as I lift myself up and sit next to him. I don't really think I need to answer him, he's always been able to read me like a book.

And what normal teenage boy would _want _to be turned in?

I'm not normal though, am I?

In truth, I had expected to already be put in a jail cell with guards on both sides of the door, my meals being pushed between iron bars and visitors coming on schedules that would take me close to no time in memorizing. I had come home with that prospect in mind, had almost wished that someone would see me even before I made it through the gate. But I wasn't an S-ranked missing nin for nothing, I knew what I was doing when it came to stealth. I knew what it would take to come see the silver-haired man before I was locked away for the rest of my life, however long they would have let that be.

Because I had expected them to kill me too.

"I want a lot of things." I say and place my feet silently on the cold hard-wood floor. I don't know if my words are true, because I really don't know anything anymore.

"Do you want to die?" He asks and I look at him fully now, my eyes catching his own. They are gray, like my own, but they are such a different gray it almost startles me. They are so much lighter, so much wiser.

And that thought nearly breaks me.

"Yes." I whisper, because this conversation is too familiar suddenly. Part of me wants out of it, and part of me wants to play out this scene as much as I can, to see where it will lead me.

"You would leave me again?"

"_Yes."_

"Can I follow you?"

"_I can't stop you."_

"I need you to stay."

"_And I need you to let me go."_

Word for word, I go through the memory as I go through the conversation. I had once been the one begging for someone to stay with me, desperately clinging to a blood-soaked coat. I had needed him to die for so long that it hadn't occurred to me what would happen when he finally was dead. And now I need him so fucking badly… but I need him alive.

The lips crushing my own are rough, bruising, dominating. So like my own lips that had pressed against Itachi's as I drove my katana through his faintly beating heart. I wonder if Kakashi will drive his katana through mine.

"You amaze me."

He whispers against my lips, his breath mingling with my own. He tastes oddly like sugar and I forget that I hate sweet things. This is a different kind of sweet. A different kind of taste.

And I don't really know if I want to remember it.

--

--

The tongue running up the back of my neck is too hot. The grip on my hips is too tight. The nails digging into my skin are too sharp.

I need to get out of here, out of this dream, this nightmare. My breathing is erratic and I can't tell if it's from apprehension or if it's because of the physical exertion. I close my eyes tight, not wanting to see the mattress that I'm being pressed into. The sheets around me are warm.

I wonder vaguely when I asked for this, if I asked for this.

" 'Kashi…" I manage out of my dry and scratchy throat, but the rest of my words die on my tongue.

"…_stop……please."_

--

--

I think I love him. I think I've always loved him.

And I think that's why I'm laying next to him in a bed that's too big for his small room. My head lays on his chest and I listen to his heart slow, his breathing slowing with it. He falls asleep quickly, I've noticed. While I stay awake for hours.

Nightmares. Always the nightmares.

I look up at him, his face serene and illuminated by the moonlight coming in from the open window.

"I think I love you."

--

--

The pills were tiny and white. They were familiar, just like everything in this apartment, but for a different reason.

I remembered finding them in Itachi's nightstand one day. I had asked them what they were and he had said that they helped him relax.

I needed to relax.

Maybe, I shouldn't have listened to him. He had always lied to me back then.

And maybe, when I see him again, I'll tell him to stop lying to me.

I have a feeling that will be very soon.

--

--

Kakashi never yells at me anymore, not like he used to when I was young and naïve. Why can't he see that I'm still young and naïve, that I need his words to be harsh and to the point for me to get them.

Because I can't stand this silence. I can't stand him not looking at me.

"I'm sorry." I say and I know he hears me because his brow does that twitch thing that it always does when I do something he doesn't expect.

"I know. It's alright." He responds and allows me to curl up next to him on the bed. I finally sleep when his arms wrap around me.

"_It's alright."_

_--_

_--_

Sex was nothing I really took seriously. It never really had much feeling for me since that night I'd spent in Itachi's room a few years ago and wondered what it would feel like to have _his _hand wrapped around me instead of my own and how much better I would feel after he brought me over the edge. His scent around me, his come filling me. It was sick and demented, but the Uchiha's had always seemed to turn a blind eye to us. I had known these incestuous feelings hadn't started _after _he'd killed everyone.

So it was a little surprising to me to find out that I wanted it so much now. That I needed to _feel _how much Kakashi wanted me. And I felt it with every thrust.

There were times when I was younger, working on missions and things with team seven and I would lie awake and imagine this. Imagine my teacher pounding into a mattress, a cot, a wall. And when I would resolve to relieve some of the tension that would build inside me while thinking these things, I would be confused as to who I wanted this more from.

Tonight, though, as I wrap my legs around the man above me and bite at a broad shoulder only one name comes from my lips.

"Kakashi!"

--

--

The sun is bright this morning. It hurts my eyes as it shines through the open window and I squint against it when I wake.

"Amaze me today."

The words are clear and precise and I get the message. I smile slightly at the man who is standing in the doorway, his flak jacket zipped up and his mask pulled over his face. I only have to nod once to convince him.

When I step outside for the first time in a month, I fully understand his words.

And it's me that is amazed.

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**Note: There's my first one, now it's your turn to give me some more ideas. I'll say right now, that this won't continue if I don't get any requests from people. Give me some feedback on this one while you're at it too!**


	3. Believe

**Note: I want to thank all of you who have reviewed. I really like a lot of your ideas, especially the pairings. You all love Nejisasu, that's great! **

**I put the English translation of this song. It's "D.L.N" by the GazettE, I highly recommend you guys check them out, especially if you're into Jrock and you haven't yet. This is probably one of my favorites by them.**

**Disclaimer: because I noticed I hadn't already put one on this story, I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters, nor do I own any of the songs or artists I use in these stories.**

**Pairing: Nejisasu**

**Dedication: To all the wonderful reviewers of last chapter, and especially to those who picked this pairing.**

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**Believe**

_//I knew it from the beginning/so I´m not sad/Little by little/little by little/It´s as counting numbers/The colors of dying plants get blurred/I don´t find out the end of a season/The day/which traces footsteps/reads the day/which listens to footprints/It is common that I cannot change tomorrow if I don't have any wishes/I follow the sound of dying plants/and I feel the end of a season/When the flowers are blooming/what will be left in my hand/The moon closes the curtain/but the sun shines on me/I knew it from the beginning, so I´m not sad/Even if I wake up and the night doesn´t end/And even if there are no shiny stars there/Even if all the lights in the town vanish/I saw enough of the happy face of the one I should protect and the end of the one I loved/So I am satisfied with it/Song of the sheep in dark long night//_

--"D.L.N" by: the GazettE

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Believe: to be confident that somebody or something is worthwhile or effective

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3 months, 4 days, 15 hours, and 23 seconds…

I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news. Someone had seen you standing outside the village, just as casually as if you'd never left at all. But you had left, and you were no longer welcome here.

They said you were to be put away, locked away in the dungeons under the Hokage tower, because you were too dangerousa criminal to be placed under normal prisoner watch. ANBU guards were needed to keep watch over you. You were too dangerous…

Too dangerous…

In only they'd known you were just a danger to yourself…

I remember seeing you for the first time, chains clasped to your wrists and ankles. They glowed a soft green, the familiar signature of Tsunade herself. I watched, my eyes seeing more than anyone else, what they were doing to you. They were destroying you, destroying everything that had once made you beautiful. Outwardly, you showed no signed of it, that apathetic look ever gracing your delicate features. But underneath--oh, underneath--I could see.

You chakra, your very life force and everything that made you strong…

It was dim, the light inside you, your signature. I could only see it glowing faintly, somewhere near your heart. I had once thought it was strange, that when I looked at you, you would glow brightest there. That you would focus your energy there. What was it, what had happened, to make you focus there. What did you hold onto so dearly?

And you still held onto it, even then, when you were locked up in that cell. Even after you admitted to killing the very thing that seemed to keep you alive. I wondered, as I watched your light waver, if you had really meant to kill yourself.

Death seemed to follow you…

I wondered, would you ever be able to be free from it.

I wanted to free you from death.

I remember the day they let you go. They said it was because you'd proven you were no longer a threat. Tsunade had fed that lie to so many of the villagers. I had fed that lie to them as well.

But I knew--oh, I knew--what really had you surrendering to everything they did and said. You had never been like that when you were young, when you were alive…

You were too weak to say no, too weak to be defiant. You said something to me that day, the day they finally unlocked those shackles from your limbs, the ones that had permanently taken everything that had once made you beautiful, once made you strong.

You said, you had always surrendered, had always been submissive.

And I believed you…

I believed you when you let me press my lips to yours, when you allowed my tongue entrance. I believed you when you let me push you up against the wall of my apartment, let me attack your neck and you never cried out for me to stop. Not when I bit down particularly hard on your collarbone, sucked at your pulse point. Not when my hands found their way up your shirt to run across ribs that protruded too far for it to be healthy. But we'd stopped being healthy by then, huh?

The way you were clinging to me could not have been healthy…

I breathed your name onto your skin, my breath making you shiver beneath me. I loved it, at that moment, the control you let me have. I reveled in the feel of you shuddering at my words, trembling at the touch of my fingertips. I adored the sound of your whimpers as I pulled away for a moment, the sound of your moans when I came back to you again and again.

But I had never really been in control, had I?

It was you who was intoxicating, you who was like a drug. My brain was muddled with thoughts of you, of what I wanted to do to you. I couldn't keep things straight, the only thing I was able to focus on was the feel of you against me. And that was quickly becoming less than enough. I needed more of you, more from you.

I always needed more.

You were beautiful when you let me pull you away from the wall again and into the bedroom in my apartment. You remarked on the fact that I could be living in something much more extravagant, but you were glad I was no longer living in the complex. You said you never deserved to go back there.

I agreed with you.

I never noticed, through the whole night you were with me, just how broken you were. I never noticed quite as fully as I should have. Not when you made no protest to a forceful entrance that would have most screaming, not when you cried silently as we moved together, not when you dug your nails into my arms so hard it left me with scars.

You didn't leave after I rolled off you and laid next to you on the sheets that were now sticky. You turned on your side, facing away from me and curled in on yourself. You had no where else to go, no one else to turn to. I wondered vaguely then, if you knew how much I loved you.

I wanted you to know…

I hope you do know…

You lay now, not in my bed covered in my white sheets, but in a different place. You fit here, under the cherry blossom tree in your family's complex. It's a big tree, one with strength and beauty, and it's limbs curl to shade you from the spring morning sun. You once told me you loved mornings, spring mornings especially, and that when you were younger, you and your brother would come and lay next to each other under the cherry blossom tree while your mother watched the two of you.

Well, your brother isn't here, and I'm not your mother, but that doesn't mean I don't watch.

I watch you everyday…

And everyday the tears become less painful, less stinging. Everyday I become stronger and more beautiful for you. I'm no match for your strength, and no one could ever match your beauty, but I'm trying. I'm trying for you.

You told me not to be sad. You told me not to give in. Never surrender, even to the ones who claim to love me. Because no one could love me quite as fully, as desperately, as shockingly as you could.

And I miss you more and more each day…

It's been 3 months, 4 days, 15 hours, and 23 seconds…

…since you left me forever…

But I will never let you go.

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**Note: It's short, and it's sad, but I'm fairly happy with it. I really like this pairing, a lot, and plan to do more with them. Don't forget to request guys, there are plenty of people out there who go great with Sasuke. I'm in love with AU's too if anyone has noticed from my other stories. Hope you all liked! Send me feedback! **


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